when we don’t carry expectations of what our growth is suppose to feel or look like, we will also carry less judgments and greater equanimity.

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maybe things get a little harder now. I may have more tools and greater mindfulness but I am in an interesting in between place. I have to face these challenging real life moments with two selves: the one who is bruised and scared to let go of habits, ego and past; the other who is healing towards transformation. one is fighting against death, the other is fighting for birth.

I can see and feel both selves so intimately.