i’m not sure how i’m feeling. i can feel the feeling and i can see what the feeling is connected to- a story, memory, thought, sensation- although the connection is a bit fuzzy. but when i attempt to go a layer deeper, to feel the root of it, the connection blows out.

i guess why would it not?

in the past few weeks when have i been intentionally alone? there may have been moments of alone-presence but have there been hours and days like this? and to be clear it’s not just being alone but being alone with the intention of presence, attunement and love- when have i provided space for this?

i am choosing to be without myself.

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