part I: i strived to love you with all the vulnerability i had.
part II: it’s been 5 months and the only truth i know is that we were a lie.
part III: well you were; i was just the fool that replaced trust in myself for trust in you.
part IV: every lie you told begot another.
part V: every tear fallen from eyes to mouth to collar, every mood switched, hit and backhanded manipulated me into believing make believe.
part VI: i am afraid of who we were because it may be evidence of my deepest fears- i am unworthy of totally and truly being loved.
part VII: i am ashamed of who we were because i stayed.
part VIII: one break up is composed of countless heartbreaks.
part IX: i write in fragments; your lies have disjointed my reality.
part X: i will not write about how our relationship, or more accurately how our breakup, twisted and churned me, compressed and stretched me to the point of becoming anew.
part XI: i will not write to look past the pain of deceit, of one’s life becoming unreal.
part XII: i will not find, search, conjure that silver lining. that silver lining has become bare. thread coming loose from being worn thin.
part XIII: these words will no longer sit in my chest.
part XIV: i will be honest.
part XV: i will be honest.
part XVI: no matter how much i cringe at our truth.
part XVII: it’s 5 months later and i am still discovering what you were hiding in the brightness of the sun, my eyes shadowed by love.
part XVIII: light penetrates the slits of my heart.